Bones parody
by laperkin
Summary: My entry to the Booth Express Bones parody challenge. One-shot!


**I don't own them and this is my first attempt at a bones fic. Quick summary: Basically the characters are real people who only live to entertain us on the show.**

They were eating Thai food, cause they hadn't had any in a whole week (since that's how long it takes to tape the show) so Brennan and Booth decided to eat at the lab and to go over some paperwork.

"Bones do you think anyone suspects that we're really in love with each other?" Booth asked as they ate.

"No- if they thought we would be a good match for each other they'd tell us- especially Angela." Bones said logically, "Besides wouldn't Cam would be jealous?"

"Why would she? We were only together cause of that stupid line I made between us." Booth explained.

"Good point." She said setting her food on the examination table she changed the subject, "Ok so in this scene I'm supposed to tell you about the victim's injuries. Her arms were broken." Brennan explained.

"How?" Booth asked.

"She was trying to fight her attacker off." She replied rolling her eyes when Booth smiled.

"Ha I knew it." Booth exclaimed excitingly.

"So then why do you need this information anyway? Didn't the husband confess already?" Bones asked looking at her notes.

"Shh! That's supposed to be a secret, because we need fifteen more minutes to fill in the rest of the show." Booth told her.

"Ok, one: we're on commercial, and two: I don't think the audience really cares since you're only wearing your boxers." Brennan pointed out.

Booth looked down, "Yeah that's true. I attract all the women who watch the show." He said proudly.

"Not to mention some of the guys too." Angela said coming up the steps, "Uh…why did you start eating without me?" She asked grabbing the food.

"We were hungry and couldn't find you."

"Well I was with Jack, and Cam, we were trying to figure out how to spell Zach's name correctly." Angela said.

"Did you figure it out? Cause it's been bugging me." Brennan asked.

"No, he wouldn't talk since he's not in this episode." Angela said eating a slice of pizza that came out of no where.

"Hey we need to get back to work here people." Cam said coming up to them, "The commercials are almost over."

They moved the food to the lounge, and got set up.

"Wait which scene is this?" Brennan asked as everyone set things up.

"This is where you catch me and Booth together in your room." Cam said with a smirk.

"Right." Brennan said and motioned Hodgins to come over, "Do you have what I need?" She asked.

"Yea." Hodgins said handing a pistol to her, "Just don't shoot Booth again."

"It was an accident, that gun was too big." Bones sighed. "Thanks." She said hiding her gun were no one could see it, and so no one would ever know she had it.

"Now I must go find Angela and the Egypt room." Hodgins said as he left.

A couple minutes later when she did walk in on Booth and Cam, managed to get the two separated before she pulled out the gun she had gotten, "Everyone wants you dead. So sorry." She explained before shooting Cam, who fell to the floor covered in blood.

"Do you know how hard it will be to clean this up?" Booth asked.

"No, by next week everything will be cleaned up." She asked then checked her watch. "I gotta go, there's a TV show on about a scientist and FBI agent solving crimes in a few minutes." She said grabbing her coat.

"I watch 'Skeletons' too can I join you?" Cam asked getting up, "Ugh, I hate being covered in blood."

"Sure." Brennan said, "Sorry for shooting you." She apologized.

"It's ok, it was better then being poisoned last week." Cam replied.

"Wait when did you get a TV?" Booth asked Brennan.

"I've always had one, but I've hid it, so I don't get distracted. See you next week." Brennan said before she and Cam left.

"So you guys kissed huh?" Cam asked as they left.

"Yeah, he even stole my gum. So how good is he in bed?" Booth heard Brennan ask as the girls left.

"Where'd they go?" Angela asked coming into the room.

"To watch TV." Booth said.

"Oh, well then I'm gonna go make out with Jack in the janitor's closet or is it the Egypt room today?… Oh well I'll try both." She said with a wink and left leaving Booth alone in the lab and in only his boxers.

"Ok, what should I do now?" He asked himself, "Ha! Found it!" He exclaimed after going through Brennan's music collection. A minute later he was dancing around the lab to "Hot Blooded" in his boxers until the show was over.


End file.
